.: traces of nut :.
You are walking. And you dont always realize it, but you are always falling.
...now I want to understand the phenomenon, I truly do. I have seen them, been in the queue, lined up and payed for the privilege but am still no closer to understanding. I thought once partaking an epiphany of sorts would make it all clear but, alas, I must not have been paying attention because I just do not get it.
... they are donuts, right? Just donuts. They come in a wanky box, you can pay for them using a credit card, and buy a cup, tshirt, carry bag, coffee and novelty condoms with the same endorsement but ... they are just donuts, right? Now I do not want rabid krispy Kreamers krawling out of the woodwork and spamming me, I have been objective, fair, even tolerant in my attempt to come to grips with the phenomenon, but if something does not even taste that good, why the floop would such an enthusiastic bunch of everyday people queue for them, covet them, bring them home as hand luggage [yes, I have seen fans bring back boxes on a return flight from Sydney before there were local dealers].
I have queued for bagels [the rare onion bagel is a prized catch], buns [an easter ritual], bread cobs [love a fresh chiabata], bun-loaves [legendary yeasty fruity concoctions enveloping luscious fillings], choux [mouth-wateringly light puffs filled with exquisite custards deliciously dipped in icing and sold at patissieries], croissants and other bready delights, so I understand the hunter-gatherer mentality for gathering nice things ... but they are donuts, right?
With each step you fall forward slightly. And then catch yourself from falling.
Now gravity and I have this new understanding. I will not move suddenly and it will not, together with momentum, cause me to hurt. *shakes fist at physics* Am exercising intermittently [yes, I know I should do it 5 times a day, but that is effort and although my physio lives in some utopian society where everything is possible and I can touch my toes, life does not work like that]. He hurts me, then I pay him. Where is that even remotely fair? I am working on core stabilizer muscles in my neck - they stop my head wobbling around and keep it more or less upright all the time. Mine took damage and are reluctant to re-engage, bastards. To compensate, I have muscle groups from neck, back and shoulders that rush to immobilise and support, and frankly I wish they would stop doing it as it is not their job, it hurts when they do [spasm is such an ugly word, say it with me children] and the net effect of them doing it is that I once again form an inconvenient and posturally challenging hunch [and bell ringing positions have been hard to come by ever since the industrial revolution].
...now the lovely "sally", my theraputic masseuse can "work on me" anytime, she returned my shoulder blades to where they belong [from which they had deserted some 4 weeks ago] and as such allowed me to stand straight again. Mobility is returning, driving is becoming possible [well, short trips at least, yee gods I had forgotted how uncomfortable some seats are], but have spent the last few weeks as a passenger. I am eternally grateful to the collection of chauffers on a bunch of levels - sitting still in a swerving vehicle is actually fairly good exercise as well *once again shakes fist at physics*.
I still eagerly await the manifestation of my super power - I have the implant but sadly there is no freak nuclear acidents in my vicinity, no excessive spatial anomolies that will visit when it is convenient, no radioactive spiders near by nor large vats of seething industrial waste that I would remotely be interested in hurling myself into to speed the manifestation process along. Guess I will just have to wait patiently...
Over and over, you are falling. And then catching yourself from falling.
...now I am on holidays again - this semester seems to have flown by, and indeed is the most broken it has ever been for me. Breaks are important however - some necessary, others welcome entitlements. You do your best to ensure that you leave behind no carnage, but in the end it helps you realise that no one is irreplaceable. When someone starts feeling like the place would fall apart without them there, it is time to go as you are the weakest link. I have learned that one can only do their best under the circumstances, human life and quality therein is important, that winging about the circumstances that you have no control over is a waste of time and that it is best to just get on with it. It also amuses me when people claim disadvantage as a smoke screen to cover the fact that they should have gotten off their arse and done something instead of relying on handouts and compensation for otherwise being slack. Never underestimate the power of stupidity I guess.
And this is how you can be walking and falling at the same time.
"Walking and Falling" - performance art from Laurie Anderson ... you ... have heard of her, right? If not, why not??!! Do youself a favour and check out "Big Science" the album, or any of the 15+ other albums, many recordings of live performances - a microphone virtuoso, synthesiser innovator and acerbic observer of the real world [well, that bit of it that is American at least]. Say hi to your mum for me xoxoxox
retox (v.tr.) The act of replenishing toxic substances that may have been depleted over time.
previous blargs - :time: :blue: :new: :annus horribilis: :hair: :vegicide: :i love lamp: :show: :life on mars: :plumbing the depths: :zoupa: :traces of nut: :freak of the week: :TV or not TV: :screwed: :pre-op: :what a nerve: :five yards: :gone: :one: :three: :four: :techno-logic: :ergo is not a dirty word: :15 mins: :online: :dust, anyone?: :notwerk: :sprung: :drive, she said...: :kidney: :iRate: :monitor: :alliance: :pamper: :allies: :heroes: :area: :appraisal: :barnstorming: :renegade: :where there is smoke...: :noob year: :dalek: :ende neu: :GOOtube: :place: :artery: :sewer: :fnq: :mole: :hols: :vote: :lumberjack: :prune: :plant: :opinion: :audit: :dig it: :neck: :life is a minestrone: :pastie: :fortysix: :away: :fully-sik: :play: :BoB2006: :cOMMunity: :pops: :bagge: :break: :pwnage: :n00b: :service with a snarl: :open: :NOT(advance): :nectarine: :sushi: :who?: :reception: :another day, another...?: :The WALL (reprise): :the WALL [part 2]: :the WALL [part 1]: :>insert seasons greetings here<: :surf: :Owe-Pee: :catAtonic: :over: :cUt: :airCON: :ooRoo: :building: :tick: :you raise me up: :duct: :yogified: :food glorious food: :diurnal anomoly: :operatunity: :wPod: :myPod [pod=foot, ok]: :is this the real life?: :bitter and twisted: :shiny: :Ahh, Serenity: :computer says no: :smef: :Go Maroon!: :best laid plans of mice: :Ready to Rok: :gravity 1, wonko 0: :Kairos 2: :fluv@x: :cluss prags: :LAN: :Axes of Evil: :Little Slices of Death: :Wrapped in plastic..: :A Horse is a horse, of course: :ego is not a dirty word: :Fun & Run: :Hedging and Edging: :Testiculation: :weak end: :I before E except after C: :Reality - hah!: :fluezy: :Too darned hot!: :Eye of the Storm?: :The Carnivale is Over: :Calm b4 the storm: :Asylum: :A Quest: :High Tea and "Back to Asylum Shopping": :hi ho, hi ho, it: :Working in a coal mine...: :Here I stand, foot in hand, talking to my wall...: :Another day ... another day, really: :We're here because we can: