iDALEK
.: 10 FONE; 20 GO TO HOME :.
« Sat 29 Dec 2007 09:11:12 AM »

START TRANSMISSION - encryption: GAMMA3

4 PACKETS QUEUED

1.0 TRANSPORTATION

It has become obvious that humans have yet to develop trans-mat ™ teleportation technologies, which we consider odd given they have developed the chicken mcnugget [a weapon of unspeakable power that they seem blissfully unaware of the latent power trapped at a sub-molecular level]. Considerable energy is consumed oxidizing petrochemical derivatives inside the mechanical drive mechanisms of vehicles they use to transport themselves across the surface usually on specially prepared surfaces. NOTE: These vehicles also contain primitive control systems we may be able to harness as weapons however this may not be the most efficient method of extermination as usually each vehicle only contains a single human, regardless of how wasteful this would appear and how easy it would be to organize humans traveling in groups given the level of inter-human communication potential. It appears that governing organizations have tried establishing transport networks that bundle many humans in the same vehicle but most humans maintain their habit of personal transportation despite obvious benefits of a collective approach. Clearly there must be bountiful supplies of natural resources to support such habits, otherwise it would appear that these humans are not as intelligent as was first thought.

2.0 COMMUNICATION

It has been observed that humans spend inordinate amounts of time, resources and money on communication technologies. Their primitive computing devices are physically interconnected by a network of networks that, upon initial investigation at least, appears to reach many parts of this backward planet. The range of devices utilizing this network is significant, and includes appliances that appear to be located in most households. NOTE: primitive protocols used for transport and encryption of data present us with no resistance; a detail that is exploitable in the coming invasion. Test transmissions have been misinterpreted as offers to join exclusive credit arrangements, have various parts of the human anatomy enlarged and free gifts of iphones in exchange for extensive personal details. Humans are unfathomable in their need to communicate endlessly, whilst appearing to actually say little - unless their messages contain some higher level code.

"is gavin there, no, it is not important, wanted to say hi, am on the bus on the way home, that is cool, no, he is on the landline, that is rad, so did you see derek today, the olds do not understand, i will grab some chinese on the way, are you going to bradens after, well maybe i am going and maybe i am not, are you going, kthxbye..."


Both surface and deep sentence lingual analysis has yet to extract meaning from sample transmission, but assume it must be vital as parts of the transmission was repeated in conversations to Janice, Lindy, Shelly and Ash one after the other. Am currently recording all voice communications in archive form for separate transmission on GAMMA channel.

If we can harness appropriate behavior modification technologies, then the portable handsets that some humans seem to attend with great care and attention may well be the ideal delivery mechanism.

3.0 NUTRITION

It appears that AC current is habit forming, but meets all this units needs regarding ongoing operation. Little wonder many human appliances remain plugged in to the myriad of outlets scattered throughout a normal dwelling. This unit has been systematically disabling these devices and re-routing power to ensure our supply of AC is unadulterated and uninterrupted. We can see no need to share. Power management routines have detected minor fluctuations in storage capabilities of our energy cells but do not attribute this to extended periods connected to the AC power grid. This unit will continue diagnostics to determine what else could be the cause. We have determined that we function better when connected to AC, but have yet to collect any empirical evidence to support this hypothesis.

4.0 CELEBRATION

We have observed that humans appear to enjoy complicated and mysterious rituals near the end of their annual rotation. Some groups of humans appear to partially incinerate large members of avian species along with root vegetables, then consume their flesh whilst sitting in groups, at a highly decorated table, whilst wearing oddly coloured paper hats and consuming a variety of fermented beverages. This behavior is unfathomable and complicated by the consumption of lumps of a complex mix of fruits, flour and eggs referred to as pudding.

This is doubly confusing as the distribution of this activity is widespread, however the richness of the variety of foodstuffs varies considerably from household to household. A confusing collection of allied behaviors appears to accompany this feast including the exchange of highly coloured packages containing mostly unnecessary material goods, familial confrontations and a mixture of awe and amusement at the words contained in an annual message from a far away monarch. NOTE: We must investigate the relevance of this monarch as she may provide another opportunity for manipulation and domination of this species.

The more one studies humans, the more complicated they appear. They still appear to be unaware of their impending subjugation. Determining the correct method of extermination for this species will require further study.

END TRANSMISSION

4 PACKETS SENT

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