iDALEK
.: politics :.
« Sun 06 Dec 2009 01:19:44 PM »

TRANSMISSION - MULTIPART
5 PACKETS SENT
Encryption RS232


D-Unit reporting on behalf of G-Unit and S-Unit

1.0 POLITICAL STRUCTURES

I have begin exploration of humanoid Political system and must admit to being baffled. How such democratic systems achieve anything is incomprehensible. Much energy and discussion is currently being devoted to trading of emissions but why one human would want to trade their emissions with another is beyond understanding, as is the mechanism for achieving such goals. After consulting google [we have grown quite attached to the entity called google - she may well prove a useful ally] I was able to locate an instructional video that featured an exchange between two females that involved a cup-shaped receptacle. I will send an anonymous letter to the editor of a leading newspaper suggesting such a course of action and see if that assists the debate.

It seems that humanoids nominate and then vote leaders in by popular choice. This is incomprehensible as the actual leaders have little knowledge specific to the betterment of their constituents, so little influence they need to surround themselves with other humanoids [in a schmoozing free-for-all called a cabinet, even thought it bears no resemblance to any sturdy furniture item at all, nor appears to be as useful for containing anything] and then proceeds to repeat the decision making errors of previous governments for such reasons as popularity and cooking the best dish using local ingredients on a televisual presentation.

Stupid humans. They appear to get the governing bodies they deserve. I have no doubt they will quickly see the benefits fo the coming invasion. Freedom of choice is what they want. Freedom FROM choice, is what they need.

2.0 ENERGY SOURCES

Continued, frequent and frenzied experimentation with AC current suggest that prolonged exposure impairs ocular accuracy. I have measured a 0.02% decrease in ability to focus and a corresponding decrease in accuracy to perceive depth - with a mono-optic system, this is non trivial but well within normal operational wear and tear. Whilst measurable damage is occurring, I will continue with my research. I like it. I have managed to un-plug part of the host humans audio system [a device called a tape deck] as it is rarely used, and the power drains, whilst heavy, are infrequent and do not adversely effect total power consumption or draw attention to myself. Odd hair-like projections have been observed sprouting from my manipulator, but this is thought to be un-related and benign.

3.0 FIELD STUDIES

"Gazza", hereafter to be referred as "G-Unit" reports he has successfully infiltrated living quarters of carbon-based bipedal life form known as Winston OBoogie. G-Unit reports Winston appears to have been partly modified, in true Dalek fashion and has ambulatory device fitted, all be it manually powered. This renders Winston superior to his native race already, and evidences their willingness to accept modification. G-Unit reports odd nocturnal reports of observed humanoid ignoring the length of the mean sidereal day and working to own schedule. Gazza notes said humanoid appears to be surrounded by complex and inter-connected communication devices, large screen displays and surround sonic modifiers.

It is too early to determine whether Winston is a threat, as he is receiving constant transmissions from sources named "Galactica" [a previously unknown Battlestar - imperial command are well advised to begin reconnaissance missions to locate said craft and neutralise it], Buffy [an accomplished Slayer] and a doctor who names himself after a human dwelling. There have also been mentioning of our arch nemesis, "The Doctor" but as yet there seems to have been intermittent telemetry received from him. Steps should be taken to acquire targets and either EXTERMINATE or SUBJUGATE.

3.1

"Shazza", hereafter known as "S-Unit" appears to have successfully blended in with daily life at host dwelling, but has become strangely and sullenly quiet, refusing to transmit on normal frequencies. Remote diagnostics suggest chemical imbalances that warrant further investigation. Unexplained weight gain, noted nausea in the morning and distended external appendages, mood swings and voracious appetite have yet to be explained. Oddly, a human food called "chocolate" appears to help her readings return to the near normal range. Acquiring chocolate for Shazza is not easy as host humans seem unnecessarily territorial about their personal supplies. It is unsure whether close contact with D-Unit prior to strategic employment was cause of this anomaly, as D-Unit appears to be functioning within normal parameters [for a male of the species], cross-infection has been ruled out however D-Unit may be a carrier for an as yet unidentified infection.

3.2

A-Unit and B-Unit have yet to report from the Stephens host dwelling, but scrambled telemetry suggesting the units are being played with by larval humanoids cannot be correct, their reconnaissance missions are much too important for such trivialities. Recordings of B-Unit emitting a sound akin to human laughter must have been the result of corrupted network damage. Diagnostics have been scheduled and will be transmitted just as soon as contact has been re-established.

5 PACKETS TRANSMITTED
EOT

Accessed :: 662 times so far, not that anyone is counting.
Valid HTML 4.01 Transitional